Roy Peter Clark on writing complicated stories with clarity

Poynter's Roy Peter Clark guided us through a list of great tips on how to make a complicated story easy to read and understand during the last of NewsU's series of writing webinars this afternoon.

They're so good I'm going to list them all here (my notes from Clark's powerpoint). You can also see his webinar at newsu.org (see me for access):

• Use shorter words, phrases, sentences and paragraphs at the point of greatest complexity (from writing coach Donald Murray). You have to report well to do this effectively. But the point is: Guide people through the heavy stuff with your writing choices.
• Slow the pace of information. Use periods to make the reader pause, at which point he/she can absorb information before moving on.
• Translate jargon. Kind of self-explanatory. But basically, you don't need to use the same specialized language your source does in order to help your reader understand.
• Lift numbers and technical info out of text and convey it in images (graphics, breakout boxes).
• Engage readers in conversation. Blogs, social networks, etc. You'd like to get to the point where you know what language your readers are comfortable with.
• Find a microcosm -- a small example that represents a larger reality. Clark gave the example of a New York Times reporter who told the story of 9/11 by focusing on one person, because the overall story was too big.
• Introduce difficult concepts one at a time. I like this at the story level, but also at the sentence level. I think a lot of times we think we have to introduce several facts or concepts in one sentence, because they're related. But (see above) use the period and give readers a chance to absorb one piece of info, then the next, then the next.
• Reward readers with high points. As Clark puts it, "gold coins" sprinkled throughout a story tell the reader, "Thanks for coming this far. Here's your reward. Keep going."
• Keep boring parts short. Be selective. Use your best stuff. Self-edit and cut 10-20 percent of your text.
• Assume responsibility for what readers learn. Can the reader ID the most important points of the story, pass that info on to another person, or pass a test on the main points?
• Watch the separation of subjects and verbs. The further apart they are, the less understandable the sentence will be.

Terrific teaching, as usual, from Clark. Thoughts or elaboration on any of these points, anybody? 

To anyone who has never understood why some people won't comment ...

...even when the story in question is harmless, and maybe even fun, I give you this blog post from This American Life, in which the writer details his and his producer's effort to get a police officer to talk about a turkey attack. On him. Well, maybe he didn't think it was funny. Anyway ... the story is funny. Take 15 minutes for it after reading the blog post.

Wicker's Kennedy assassination story: Helped by dictation?

I believe I've read that Tom Wicker dictated this story, which would make sense, since it was 1963 and I don't think anyone in the field was using even the old Radio Shack "Trash 80s," on which you could see all of six lines of your story at a time.

Anyway, I wonder if that's why the piece is so unadorned and reads so much like he's talking to you. Of course, no one would dictate a story like this (or would want to) these days. But it's a great lesson on lean writing. As an exercise and to build writing muscle, try listening to yourself as you write, and try to go lean like this.

Kennedy Is Killed By Sniper As He Rides In Car In Dallas; Johnson Sworn In On Plane: Tom Wicker |
New York Times |
Nov 1963

Tom Wicker was without a notebook on November 22, 1963. Instead, reported Gay Talese, he “scribbled his observations and facts across the back of a mimeographed itinerary of Kennedy’s two-day tour of Texas.”

Here’s the 3,700-word masterpiece he filed.

[full story]

Intersection: York + D.C. photojournalist

I was fiddling around on a website called Intersect the other day, because I'm bound to at least investigate anything that bills itself as a new way to tell stories.

While I was there, I was surprised to stumble across a set of stories based in York. The stories, by Washington Post photojournalist Michael S. Williamson, were small riffs on info or meaning behind photos he'd taken while in York earlier this year.

Underneath a picture of an old warehouse, for example, was this text:

You’ve got to love a place that’s so wonderfully blue collar that you can’t tell just by looks what businesses are actually still open or shut down. York, PA’s nickname is the “Factory Capitol of the World,” and rightly so. It’s the home of the famed York Barbell, and though there’s a retail store and museum in town, the company headquarters are in Canada and most of the products are made in China.

The mini-stories by Williamson (see his Washington Post bio page), who has shared in two Pulitzer prizes, were an unexpected treat.

I haven't figured out whether/how to use Intersect, though I usually try anything once. The site describes itself as a way to present stories that are linked by place, a way to "to share and see your stories and interests in the context of your life, showing where you are now ... and when and where you've been in the past. And who else was there."

Did you know of this or have you tried it? Let me know.

Patterson story lets humanity infuse the news

Rick Lee pulled off a kind of double-lede to his story about the death of York County Judge Chuck Patterson that I think serves the story well.

In the first two grafs, he delivers the news that Patterson collapsed and later died, though it's through the action of the flags being lowered, not an official quote, which comes later.

In the next four grafs, Rick writes about Patterson's last moments at the courthouse: His afternoon greeting with district attorney Tom Kearney, and Kearney describing what happened. It's poignant, reveals a level of respect for Patterson that is reflected elsewhere in news coverage, and it brings the story back to the point where you hear the official word about the death from the coroner.

It's a major news story that, through its construction and its key anecdote, allows the human emotion to come through.

UPDATE: Rick says he was thinking about leading with the Kearney anecdote, but thought the story really needed to be treated as a hard news story, and starting with the anecdote wouldn't do that. Hence the first two grafs. That's good thinking and decision-making.

New look

Yeah, so Tell Me a Story is on its third new look in the past week or so. Sorry to anyone who's checked in and wondered where they were. I think this one will stick.

Gay Talese: 'It is getting it right, and then being a storyteller'

Gay Talese gave a talk on narrative at Harvard University a few days ago.

Penn State: The week that was, captured by two fine writers

In case you missed it in any of the other places I've posted links to these stories, I'd put these two pieces up against anything anyone has written about what happened last week at Penn State:

• Frank Bodani's story about the game and what it meant on a deeper level
• Mike Argento's story about the fans, the university and the alumni who are mourning the Penn State they knew and are beginning to move on

For Veterans Day, a video package brings together veterans from America's past and present

From our AME visuals Brad Jennings this morning:

If you're growing weary of Penn State stories, here's something a little different you can check out. For Veterans Day, Kate Penn profiled veterans from the current wars, all the way back to World War II, and conducted video interviews with them.
Sam Dellinger created an interactive presentation that you can see here.
This is a great example of multimedia storytelling. You'll notice few printed words, and short video clips. But if you watch them all, you'll come away learning a lot about a diverse group of local people.
You can see George Eyler get emotional as he remembers getting shot at in Korea. You can hear Michael Janis talk about having blood and excrement thrown at him when he returned home from Vietnam. And you can listen to Dawn Hicks describe how woman in Saudi Arabia must eat in a separate room at their local KFC so they can uncover their faces to eat.
I'm glad we were able to meet these veterans and let them share their stories in this way.

Really cool effort by Kate and definitely worth your time to watch the videos and meet these people.

Phrases to run away from

Check this out: A blog that says its mission is "to showcase linguistic crutches journalists employ."

 It breaks 'em down, folks, with links and everything. Like "rolling in his/her grave" and "as a matter of fact." 

Good stuff.